I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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