we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
