ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
