i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
