I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize