i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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