May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
