WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?