I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
