someone threw a dead crab at me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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