seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
