Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
a search helicopter?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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