Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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