He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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