i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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