with your own penis?
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize