im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
