So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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