mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm both gender and math confused
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
