If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
