Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
