i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
