So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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