maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
