How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
