it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he thought i was a dude.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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