you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
