forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
