I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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