Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
