hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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