We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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