you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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