I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
