handjob tips. give me some.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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