I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
