i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
