I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
