But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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