I'm going to jail i love you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
