Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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