Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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