Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
