So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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