Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
