We're facebook friends in real life
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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