I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize