I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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