Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
