he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have so many feelings about this burrito
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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