Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
