I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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