11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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