Umm I'm too high to move.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
