Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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