Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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